Planning, thinking, mulling

Only a minority of my peppers and tomatoes have germinated. I'm worried. I also had my first garden worry dream last night. I dreamed that I was at a local farm and they had large okra and full-grown peas and all sorts of delicious veggies already in the fields, not to mention bearing fruit. I sat up in a tree, oggling the lush, spring fields below me thinking, "How could I get so far behind! My okra isn't even started yet!" Then I woke up. My garden hasn't even been tilled yet!

Mulling, continued

When I start thinking about jobs and career paths I inevitably bump into my freelancing ideas and small business concepts, which, while scarier and much less fail-safe than the jobs I was mulling over yesterday, are actually better suited for my long-term hopes and dreams. The trade-off between short-term security and long-term gain, when it comes with what feels like a significant chunk of risk in the immediate future (my savings, my financial security and stability, my resume) is a lot to wrap my mind around.

So I need to keep mulling. This time, about the summer, and a half-baked plan I keep toying with to work fewer hours this summer in order to focus on starting a home business either making salves and such things or writing more (freelance, etc.)

If I cut back on my hours and work 35 hours a week, I will have to make $50/week (after taxes) to make it worth taking the cut. If I actually committed to starting a small business, that $50 would actually be reflective of many, many more hours than 5 per week. The question is whether the extra 5 hours of personal time would be a big enough time investment in my freelance writing/small business to make the cut pay off.

Let's say, for example, that I take fridays off and work 8:15 - 5:00 (35 hours) Monday-Thursdays. Monday-Thursdays would basically function like normal weekdays, the extra :45 morning minutes wouldn't change much in how I function. Friday, however, would turn into a full, 8-hour (9-5) work day for me, in which I could focus on developing whatever business plans, etc I'd like.

That seems like a good trade, but I think it'll only make sense to make that tradeoff if I start working on the business ideas now so that making money starts happening when I start taking time off from work (Let's say at the beginning of June), rather than that time-off serving as more planning time. Which means that in the next few months I need to see what it feels like to work 2 jobs at once, if that's what I want to do (plus having a garden!)

Now, the question is, do I focus on selling the book and on freelance writing or do I keep the book going in my spare time as my hobby and focus on salves, teas, and products of that nature? Or do I sit tight, keep on working, and take some horticulture classes while waiting to apply for a job that's really in the field I like?


Yesterday's mulling and today's is a conflict that is, inherently, about whether I want to organize my life around career-building or around homemaking. Yesterday's plan is a career-path that would make me happy. Today's plan is a make-money-and-homemake-path that would make me happy. I'm not sure how well I could do yesterday's plan and then switch to this one if and when I decide to have kids and settle down - starting a new and successful business while starting a family sounds about as easy as becoming superwoman (and would require something of the sort). However, an established home business based in the rural lifestyle I love is something that could grow with me. Not contributing to a household income and not continuing to maintain self-sufficiency isn't an option.

I go back and forth. A lot. There is something extremely appealing about just having a job in a field I feel strongly about and not worrying about clients, sudden flare-ups, or anything work-related after 5. I am not particularly ambitious, and I don't know how well that would translate to entrepreneurship. I seriously would love to be a part of a public garden. Furthermore, one of my fatal flaws is a lack of patience - which often translates into me working for a future that is by no means certain and for future desires at which I can only guess. And yet - isn't it foolish to not try and guess and work towards that guess? And, besides that, few things are more appealing to me than being able to define where and how I live. The idea of being able to make it on my own with my own business, and with my own ideas of success is absolutely thrilling.

I think, when it comes down to it, I want a business partner and a part-time job at a public garden.

Mulling

Garden Jounal
While I was away, the peppers, tomatoes, and leeks have started germinating. The lettuce, daisies and calendula still only have their first two leaves but are getting big. Everything is leggy because of the lack of light. They're happily back home and under a light now, though it might be a bit cold in the house for them. Nothing to do about that at the moment though.

Mulling - jobs I'd love to have
With a total of 12 hours of driving this weekend, I've been thinking a lot about work, careers, school, and working in a field I love. My job is great, and it's giving me a lot of skills that are useful to me and my resume, even though I have no intention of working in theater or arts for long. But I've been mulling. I turned down an interview at a good public horticulture program last year because of where it was (South of Philly), among other things. I still think that was the right choice - school for 2 years after 18-some-odd straight years of school would have been way, way too much, and living in communal housing again would have put me over the edge, not to mention being South-of-Philly for 2 years, in the middle of nowhere, not close to anyone I know or love or want to network with. I don't regret it, but I am aware that i gave up a 2-year sacrifice in exchange for being a shoe-in for most jobs I'd love.

So it's good to remember that the experience I'm getting now is invaluable, not to mention a huge relief and much-needed respite after what feels like a billion years of schooling. It's good to know what working 40 hours a week is like with juggling hobbies, making ends meet, and living on my own. And that I enjoy it way more than I enjoyed school. And what's more, I can still be a shoe-in at jobs I love - I have way more experience and chutzpah than most people my age. It's just going to take some concerted effort and creative thinking about strategic additional coursework and the resume item known as "equivalent experience" to get to the next step. And when I put it that way, I relish the experience and look forward to the coming year or two with a zest I could hardly muster in college - even when looking forward.

So I'm thinking about what's happening next. I'm not going to be an office assistant at a theater forever (obviously! - at some point I'm going to homestead and housewife it up)! I've already arranged to take the next Master Gardener course that Cornell Cooperative Extension is offering in my county (which isn't until next year). That's great knowledge and cred. People are always excited by the "Master Gardener" qualification - if only because it sounds so legit. It'll be good for making contacts, learning awesome gardening stuff, and opening up my opportunities - and who wouldn't want to volunteer by answering gardening questions a few times a month? I do that all the time anyway! Besides, being able to put "Master Gardener" after my name means I can teach more classes and get some things published. It doesn't hurt that a job for the extension is one of the few local jobs I absolutely covet.

And then there's my favorite garden in the world - that place where faeries still exist, even at my age - The New York Botanical Gardens in the Bronx, which has the unbelievable benefit of being on Metro North. It has it's own horticulture certificate program (a full time, 2-year program that's affordable, though not really, seeing as you can't really work for 2 years), but also has part-time certificate programs (!!) and gainful employment opportunities. And there's a good botanical garden in the berkshires, not to mention colleges with landscaping that needs maintenance.

So I've been mulling. a lot. That, and I have a book to write, a garden to grow, and a personal life to keep up with! And I need to plant ground cherries! Oh my! At least the rain is coming at the right time this year (even if it's coming down a bit too hard)